Before you read any further, you should know that this article is going to be about violence against women.
I wonder how many of you chose to continue reading. How many of you, I wonder, are like some of my relatives and friends who complain, “Oh God, not again, not another article about violence and women!”
Over the past 16 days that a campaign to highlight violence against women in Kurdistan has been in effect, the number of cases of violence inflicted on women that I have seen and heard could fill a book.
But with the campaign at an end, allow me to be the voice of a Kurdish father, Maam Haaji -- or Uncle Haaji -- who I met a few days ago. In telling his story I am aware that no matter what I write or how I write, my words will not do justice to his thoughts and feelings.
His wrinkles and tired expression betrayed that he had not slept the night before. In fact, he had not slept for nights on end. This Kurdish father was in pain, so much that he had left work to come and see us at a local NGO.
I am guessing Maam Haaji is a builder or gardener -- but that is unimportant. To me, what is important is that nothing in the world hurts more than seeing an elderly Kurdish man – a father who has experienced much in life including family pains -- in tears for his daughter.
He comes and sits. Tired and worn, he explains that his daughter is in pain, abused by her husband. There is nothing that Maam Haaji has not tried over the years to solve their problem. The son-in-law, after forbidding his wife even to visit her parents, is psychologically torturing the woman, in addition to the physical abuse that he inflicts on her. Now, the son-in-law has threatened to kill Maam Haaji if he interferes in his daughter’s life.
It is easy for me to tell Maam Haaji we will help his daughter file for divorce. But I know he is thinking deeper than I. What about the three kids? Will she have custody? Even if she was to win custody of the kids, who will pay for their schooling, and the infinite needs children have? He certainly cannot. Then there is the social stigma of a divorced woman. Violence against women comes in all forms, not just physical abuse.
The 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence campaign, launched in the Kurdistan Region last month, allowed greater media scrutiny of this social scourge. It helped raise awareness among men and women in rural areas, in government offices and inside homes. The support of the Kurdistan Regional Government in combating violence against women is praiseworthy, and allows one to be optimistic.
But our work is incomplete: From January to October this year, the reported cases of violence against women in the region included 68 cases of suicides and honor killings, 324 immolations, 703 cases of abuse and 145 cases of sexual harassment. More than 2,650 women filed complaints of violence.
