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ERBIL, Kurdistan Region — Hajar Hussein fears her husband and stepsons have killed her transgender son and pleaded for the authorities to find her child, whether dead or alive.
“I last spoke to him on June 11 when he was crying on the phone. I have not heard from him since,” Hussein told Rudaw’s Shahyan Tahseen on Wednesday. “There has never been a time where Shakib has not talked to me for this long.”
Her son, given the name Shakib at birth, went by the name Misho. Misho is part of the LGBT+ community in the Kurdistan Region, which faces constant fear of persecution and threats of violence and murder.
Two years ago, Misho spoke with Rudaw’s Hadi Salimi, explaining the threats to their life and the difficulties they had faced. The interview was not aired at the time.
Misho spoke about how they were kicked out of their house and forced into prostitution, which later became their only source of income and survival. Misho also described the abuse they suffered from their stepbrothers and father and threats against their life.
At the time of the interview, in February 2019, Misho was living in the ruins of an old building after sleeping a few nights in a park. Previously, Misho had been forced into prostitution by a hotel owner in Baghdad.
Rudaw contacted one of Misho’s step-brothers in 2019.
“We have abandoned this guy, and we do not want him to come back, let him go abroad,” said the step-brother whose name Rudaw is withholding. “I swear to God and on the Quran, if I know he comes back to our region, to Sidakan, I will shoot 30 bullets at him. Even if he is my brother, I will kill him.”
Misho was returning to Sidakan when Hussein last spoke with them, she said.
“His father had promised him to renew his passport for him, and called him to go back home. He told me that he would go,” Hussein said. “The last time he called me, he said that he is at his brother’s house. I told him I am in a car and would call him later, but that was the last call we had.”
Hussein said she asked her stepson about Misho’s whereabouts and he denied having any knowledge on the matter. She said she and her daughter are now being threatened by their family.
Rudaw cannot independently verify Hussein's claims.
Related: Queer in Kurdistan: LGBT+ community weighed down by societal pressure
Kurdistan Region’s LGBT+ community is especially fearful after they were targeted for arrests in April in Sulaimani. On April 1, security forces (Asayish) rounded up a group of men in Sarchinar, a neighborhood in the city where people of any sexual orientation can pick up sex workers. The officer who led the operation said they were targeting suspected homosexuals and used derogatory language.
Family and honor are two of the main pillars of Kurdish society. Any damage to a family’s reputation can see a member disowned for the sake of honor, or even killed. To be of any sexual orientation other than straight can not only put that person’s life in danger, but damage a family’s reputation. It prevents their siblings or other relatives from living their life to the fullest and adds even more pressure on people who already have a lot to lose by going public with their sexuality.
For some families, the only way to save their honor when they have a child with a different sexual orientation than straight, is to force them into marriage. Many of these marriages fail.
“I lived with my husband for some years, though it was like hell,” Mardin,* a transgender woman who was forced to marry a man at the age of 21 by her family, recently told Rudaw’s Dlnia Rahman.
Mardin had gender reassignment surgery, but it came with problems. “I tried a lot at public and private hospitals to do gender transformation surgery, but none of them helped. So I had to settle for someone who was not an expert in the process, and they did the surgery with a lot of money,” Mardin said.
“The surgery was not successful, and I have a distorted body now,” Mardin said. “I have slept on the streets many nights, because my IDs identify me as a woman, but my current physical being does not add up, therefore I cannot even rent a hotel room.”
Human Rights Watch in May said it is time for the Iraqi government to step up to protect the LGBT+ community.
“In Iraq, armed groups have for over a decade gotten away with targeting, torturing and killing LGBT people and those perceived as LGBT, without any accountability or consequence. The state-sponsored rhetoric that these abusive forces are protecting morals and religious traditions is an unabashed strategy to control the bodies and identities of queer and transgender Iraqis,” Rasha Younes, who researches LGBT rights in the Middle East at Human Rights Watch, told Rudaw English in May.
“It is time for the Iraqi government to condemn violence against LGBT people, stop these attacks, and preserve innocent lives that continue to be lost with impunity,” she added.
* Names have been changed to protect identities
“I last spoke to him on June 11 when he was crying on the phone. I have not heard from him since,” Hussein told Rudaw’s Shahyan Tahseen on Wednesday. “There has never been a time where Shakib has not talked to me for this long.”
Her son, given the name Shakib at birth, went by the name Misho. Misho is part of the LGBT+ community in the Kurdistan Region, which faces constant fear of persecution and threats of violence and murder.
Two years ago, Misho spoke with Rudaw’s Hadi Salimi, explaining the threats to their life and the difficulties they had faced. The interview was not aired at the time.
Misho spoke about how they were kicked out of their house and forced into prostitution, which later became their only source of income and survival. Misho also described the abuse they suffered from their stepbrothers and father and threats against their life.
At the time of the interview, in February 2019, Misho was living in the ruins of an old building after sleeping a few nights in a park. Previously, Misho had been forced into prostitution by a hotel owner in Baghdad.
Rudaw contacted one of Misho’s step-brothers in 2019.
“We have abandoned this guy, and we do not want him to come back, let him go abroad,” said the step-brother whose name Rudaw is withholding. “I swear to God and on the Quran, if I know he comes back to our region, to Sidakan, I will shoot 30 bullets at him. Even if he is my brother, I will kill him.”
Misho was returning to Sidakan when Hussein last spoke with them, she said.
“His father had promised him to renew his passport for him, and called him to go back home. He told me that he would go,” Hussein said. “The last time he called me, he said that he is at his brother’s house. I told him I am in a car and would call him later, but that was the last call we had.”
Hussein said she asked her stepson about Misho’s whereabouts and he denied having any knowledge on the matter. She said she and her daughter are now being threatened by their family.
Rudaw cannot independently verify Hussein's claims.
Related: Queer in Kurdistan: LGBT+ community weighed down by societal pressure
Kurdistan Region’s LGBT+ community is especially fearful after they were targeted for arrests in April in Sulaimani. On April 1, security forces (Asayish) rounded up a group of men in Sarchinar, a neighborhood in the city where people of any sexual orientation can pick up sex workers. The officer who led the operation said they were targeting suspected homosexuals and used derogatory language.
Family and honor are two of the main pillars of Kurdish society. Any damage to a family’s reputation can see a member disowned for the sake of honor, or even killed. To be of any sexual orientation other than straight can not only put that person’s life in danger, but damage a family’s reputation. It prevents their siblings or other relatives from living their life to the fullest and adds even more pressure on people who already have a lot to lose by going public with their sexuality.
For some families, the only way to save their honor when they have a child with a different sexual orientation than straight, is to force them into marriage. Many of these marriages fail.
“I lived with my husband for some years, though it was like hell,” Mardin,* a transgender woman who was forced to marry a man at the age of 21 by her family, recently told Rudaw’s Dlnia Rahman.
Mardin had gender reassignment surgery, but it came with problems. “I tried a lot at public and private hospitals to do gender transformation surgery, but none of them helped. So I had to settle for someone who was not an expert in the process, and they did the surgery with a lot of money,” Mardin said.
“The surgery was not successful, and I have a distorted body now,” Mardin said. “I have slept on the streets many nights, because my IDs identify me as a woman, but my current physical being does not add up, therefore I cannot even rent a hotel room.”
Human Rights Watch in May said it is time for the Iraqi government to step up to protect the LGBT+ community.
“In Iraq, armed groups have for over a decade gotten away with targeting, torturing and killing LGBT people and those perceived as LGBT, without any accountability or consequence. The state-sponsored rhetoric that these abusive forces are protecting morals and religious traditions is an unabashed strategy to control the bodies and identities of queer and transgender Iraqis,” Rasha Younes, who researches LGBT rights in the Middle East at Human Rights Watch, told Rudaw English in May.
“It is time for the Iraqi government to condemn violence against LGBT people, stop these attacks, and preserve innocent lives that continue to be lost with impunity,” she added.
* Names have been changed to protect identities
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