'They have the right to be afraid of me': social taboo of HIV takes toll on Kurdish women

SANANDAJ, Iran —Dressed in a black scarf and red gown, Nashmil, 39, waits in the queue at a health center in Sanandaj, capital of the Kurdistan province of  Iran. She is waiting to receive a prescription- given free of charge by the state- for her 10-year long battle against HIV.

Nashmil, who withheld her full name due to fear of societal reprisal, realized that she had been infected with HIV by her husband less than one year after they tied the knot.

HIV is a condition in which progressive failure of the immune system allows life-threatening infections and cancers to thrive, and develops into AIDS if untreated. HIV is spread through the transmission of infected bodily fluids and through using contaminated needles.

"In September 2009, my husband faced some problems in his kidneys and eventually lost both of them, less than one year into our marital life. I had known him through my brother... I thought we would have a happy life together and never knew that my husband was a drug addict and had been jailed before," Nashmil told Rudaw.

In 2017, Iran’s Drug Control Organization (DGO) estimated around 2.8 million people out of its population of 80 million regularly use drugs – up from 1.3 million in 2011.

As the pain in his kidneys grew, he was rushed to hospital for medical examinations.

"It turned out that he had HIV and they asked me to undergo the same examinations," she said, adding the result shocked her.

She initially mistook her symptoms for pregnancy.

"I had already seen some symptoms of HIV in myself including weight loss, abdomen ache, and exhaustion which I had initially thought they were signs of pregnancy.”

"A few days after I did the medical examinations, the result showed I too had HIV," she said. "My situation really deteriorated when I heard this news. I cried a lot for myself."

She said her husband had been diagnosed ten years prior, but had not told her. 

"When I asked him why, he was just crying and not saying anything...yet, I decided to stay with him. I became a victim of my husband. My parents-in-law were treating me very badly."

She says instead of taking prescription to cure his chronic symptoms, he continued to use drugs.

"He eventually died," she said.

When her husband died, she returned to her parents house, but was unwelcome.

"I thought my parents and family would treat me well and help me overcome it. So, I decided to tell them of my story. I never expected the kind of reaction they showed against me. As soon as they knew of my symptom, they stopped their connections with me and did have a phone call even with me for one year," she said while bursting into tears. 

"If my mother was alive, she would have never turned her back on me," she added.

"They have the right to be afraid of me, fearing I would transfer the disease to them too," she said.

One year after her husband's death, her family became willing to welcome her home, but they decided to isolate her in a room, not letting her communicate with anyone.

"After my husband's death, I stayed in my family's house for six months. My family did not allow me to go to the kitchen nor other rooms. They would separate their clothes from that of mine," she said, adding that her step-mother was particularly cruel.

She eventually decided to leave the house and seek shelter at the Sanandaj Consultancy Transmitting Diseases Center, where she found another life partner who was HIV positive.

But luck has been never been on her side..

"Eight years ago, I met a man through this center who was also an HIV patient. I really loved him in the beginning believing we would be in harmony with each other," she said. 

"Unfortunately, he too has become a drug addict and we are trying to divorce. I am always fighting some sort of battle."

She takes two pills per day and tries to hide her symptoms from others, fearing insults and disrespect.

"One day, I happened to go to a hospital, when they knew I was an HIV patient, they kicked me out," she said.

However, Nashmil is refusing to surrender and makes handicrafts to pass the time. 

"After the death of my first husband, I embarked on knitting bags and sewing. I love doing these things," she said.

"When I diagnosed in the beginning, some people were saying it is better if you die. But human beings do not have to give up on life so easily," she added.

A research paper conducted in 2013 by leading Iranian health officials estimated that more than 100,000 are infected with HIV in Iran.

Kamiar Alei, a Harvard-educated doctor and HIV pioneer who was jailed by the Iranian government, estimated that 70 percent of those who have HIV don’t know that they are infected.

Dr. Binayi Karnasi, a physician at the health center says the first ever case registered in Iran was in 1987, during the closing years of Iraq- Iran war.

"This disease later grew in number among the drug addicts," he says, explaining currently there are 66,000 people with HIV across Iran.

Regarding cases in the Kurdish region, "Kermanshah comes in highest with 3610 positive cases of HIV, 30 of whom are women. Second is Sanandaj with 584 positives cases, 60 of whom are women."

He said of the 584 in Sanandaj, many of them have died. He added that the majority of those infected are between 15 and 24 years of age.

"Right now, only 278 patients are receiving treatment at the Sanandaj consultancy center," he says, adding the bulk of the female victims were infected by their husbands.

He advises anyone displaying symptoms of "weight loss, night sweats, frequent thirst, long-term colds and abdomen ache" to visit the nearest health center.

 

Translated by Zhelwan Z.Wali